


thirty percent is all it takes

by LornaD



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LornaD/pseuds/LornaD
Summary: The Kamionan exaggerated their ability’s resulting in things going off track.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the thought occured to me that what would happen if the Kamionians had lied about their abilitys wand weren't nearly that skilled as they claimed and then it wouldnt let me go and this is the result

NOW

Commander Fox swung his feet back and forth as he watched the Senate building burn. The green and purple flames were so pretty especially at the epicentre where the chancellor’s office used to be. “So, how did you do that buir” Fox asks his companion as they take a loud slurp of the slushies their drinking. 

The armoured figure releases the straw “well I just fixed it that when certain key words were said in the presence of a certain Naboo politician all the Mid-clorians in the area’s atomic structure would start sub-dividing and thus pretty boom.” 

“I don’t want to know how you got your hands-on Skywalker to do that do I” Fox asks.

The figure grins back at him “Not if the Coruscant Guard are to be able to claim deniability. Though” The figure pauses to shake the slushies in an effort to get more juice “Given how easy it was I think I could use it as proof that the more mid-clorians you have the dumber you are.” The figure goes to chuck the now empty slushie, Fox quickly grabs it “How are you so bad at this buir" and throws it in the bin. “and apparently getting oinked by someone with that many mid-clorians also rots your brain.” The figure finishes.

Fox frowns “what did you do to the Naboo senator buir, she treats us better than most when she remembers”

“Just made it so that she, her family and security team will be ensuring that the Tusken tribe that she covered up the extermination of, will rise from the bloody sands once again. That and released Wham Bam thank you on the holonet.” 

Commander Fox mind splutters to a halt he’s seen parts of that epic long holo tape. Its porn hard core and its main star looks exactly like Senator Padme Amidala with and without face paint. “KRIFF!”

“Being a Senator won’t be practical since she’ll soon to be very busy being pregnant for the next couple of decades” the Figure smirks as they swing their legs back over the side of the building and stand up “Single mums don’t get a lot of money so I thought I’d help her with her future cashflow problems.” 

Holding out their hand to Fox as he swings his legs over the buildings side.

Fox grasps the hand and lets them haul him up. Looking down at them he says “Admit it your still pissed about all the times Skywalker got vode killed protecting her shebs”

“That true too. Hey wanna take the express” The figure grins up at him before replacing their helmet. “Next stop bloodline theft.”

“Kriff yes!” Fox responds hurriedly replacing his helmet and moving behind the figure to wrap his arms round their neck, the Figure already moving to place a foot up on the edge. 

Their left hand grips his arm tightly as they launch themselves into the Corusant Sky. 

Fox is grinning so hard his face hurts as he takes advantage of his buir’s natural ability to fall with style and always land on their feet. He’s so glad that the Guards Chief Medic had such a keen interest in genetics.

Eight months earlier.

Commander Fox is not happy. The door to his cupboard like office had been slammed open with such force his good Caf is now on the floor. He glares up at Plasma. “What kriff is so important it can’t wait!”

Plasma “No time. you have to see this right now.” And then Plasma is sprinting to the Guard infirmary while dragging Fox by the arm behind him. 

There in the Guards bacta tank floated a sentient who wasn’t one of the Vod.

“What the haren Plasma that’s Bactas for the Guard use only.” Commander Fox angrily demands.

“What the Kriff indeed” Plasma states dryly “That is what happens when the shinnies decide to play holo ball in the room we were storing the evidence from the Trallin case, that we were storing for Judicial and managed to knock the part of the evidence off the wall, resulting in the antique carbon freezing unit starting to unfreeze and the shinnies were smart enough to figure that whoever was inside was going to need a Medic when they finished de-freezing and called me.”

“That still doesn’t explain the Bacta” Frowns Fox thinking about all the extra paperwork he was going to have to do now.

“It does when it turns out that Bacta is one of the few Medications they don’t react badly to. Last time I checked with the dispensary droid apart from the Bacta there are three, three medications that will work normally with their Physiology. A further eighteen that with care would only have minor side effects out of several thousand.” An irritated Plasma responds.

Crossing his arms Fox unhappily asks “That still doesn’t explain why you dragged me down here. “

Plasma “it does explain why I decided to look at their DNA and Guess what vod. That sentient has some unique markers found in only two places.” Plasma turns and points to the Bacta tank. “There” he turns back to Fox “and in every vode in the Gar with the exception of the Nulls.”

“You ah wha!” sputters Fox. “But Prime the Long Neck only used Prime’s DNA.”

Plasma “Hm, well it looks like they lied. I got a contact in Kammio to get me Boba DNA matric along with the Null. Alpha, CC and CT matrics. Fun Fact only Boba is one hundred percent Prime. The Null have 4%, the Alpha 15% and the rest of us have a third of our DNA matching that sentient. Apart from those unique markers it looks like the Long Neck mostly cherry picked what DNA they used. The eye and hair mutations aren’t mutations, there from that sentient’s DNA. So far, I’ve been able to work out that our ability to put on muscle easily, eat nearly anything and part of our body’s natural healing comes from that DNA not anything the Kamionians cooked up, what the Kamionian scientists really did was to tweak that DNA for optimised performance.”

“Kriff” Fox 

“you said it vod, but” Plasma gestures at the Bacta tank “that might explain how they survived getting that scar.”

Now that Fox is looking, he can see what Plasma means. It looks like something with really big claws tried to slice them up. The main one runs from the top of their head down to the tips of their toes with the other two bouncing in and out of the arm and leg where they clearly tried to defend themselves.

“I still don’t get why you think this is so important.” Fox pinches his nose.

Plasma gives him one of his you are an dumb sheb looks “Because Fett might have signed all rights to us away, but they didn’t and given they’ve been frozen all this time no one asked them for their permission to use their DNA in this fashion. Even if they don’t want us, the Kamionian broke the republic law when they used their DNA. Which means we can use this to leveage our freedom if we're smart.“

Fox looks over to the Bacta tank “They could just demand the Republic decommission us.”

“Nah, I’ve got a good feeling about them,” Plasma smiles.


	2. skipping generations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox learns more about his buir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is now a two shot since my muse danced in wearing an itsy bits bikini and a kilt before shimmering off with her pinky through the nipple ring of a heavyly tatooed Dutch man, Force i hope it was a nipple ring.

Fox had followed his buir discreetly into little Manda’yaim shortly after his buir had been cleared by Plasma.

He’d watched puzzled as they had stuck a small device to the side of a wall before walking up to a knot of Death Watch drinking outside of a cantina 

His Buir had removed and carefully set down their helmet. Then they had taken a knife and cut a line from one cheek to the other across the brow of their nose.

Calmly replaced the knife as the red blood had started to drip down their face the watching Death Watch starting to get aggravated.

Then as a strange male voice suddenly started to sing in a unknown language his buir had thrown back their head and screamed/howled drawing their swords in one flowing movement before leaping at the Death Watch a smile full of savage joy burning on their face similar to those smiles Fox had seen most often on the Alphas and some of his wilder brothers. 

As the area descends in to mass of struggling bodies Fox’s realises he can hear his Buir singing bright and clear – a counter point that harmonises with the unknown singer – turning the clashing sounds of battle into an ode. 

Fox shudders, he was engineered for battle just like the rest of his vod. He’s always thought it was his Mando blood that called to him to fight but this, he can feel the voices reaching down into his very bones. Its all he can do to stay silent. Not to raise his voice in rejoicing, to feel his opponent bones break as his weapons make contact, to feel the blood spray burn his skin and taste their dying gasp. The desire to let go and fight without reserve.

A Death watch member stumbles out of the melee grasping his shoulder his armour dragging his kute down where it had been torn off his body. “They bit me they Kriffin bit me” they curse as they remove their hand blood streaming from a familiar set of bite marks. 

Oh, Kriff its hereditary Fox thinks flashing back to all the times he seen the results of Wolfe bad habit. As the Death Watch Mando staggers off.

“Force does anyone know if that mad bastards single.”

Fox turns slightly to find there’s a growing crowd of Mando’s watching the fight. The two nearest Mando watching, Old Clan by their paint, are the ones who’ve commented.

“What the hell do you want to know that for” the one on the left asks.

Fox can practically see the one on the right brighten “ Cos anyone that feels like that when they can fight like that I want know more about.”

“So, they can fight and fight well. lots of Mando can do that.”

“Yeah but I’m betting that every force sensitive or empath is going to want know more. They projecting and the last time I felt anything like it was on a three-day pass on Zeltros, when I had a very good time.”

The left Mando facepalms. “Yes, I know you won’t shut up about it.”

It is at this moment the pile of Death watch heaves and in the gap his buir eels their way free before bouncing over to where Fox is standing scooping up their helmet and collecting the device as they go.

“Ver heill! Kit” they happily cry before rising to their toes to give him a very enthusiastic kebble. Death Watch are still fighting, apparently unaware the instigator has left.

Fox is well aware of the watching Mando’s as he questions “What the hell was that all about. if you wanted a spar any one of the vode would have been happy to do so.”

“Hmm, yes, you can’t plan when your angry or a least I can’t plan well when I’m that angry.” They tilt their helmet to look at the still ongoing scuffle. “still I think perhaps those Mando’s have confused the size of their blasters with the size of their fighting ability” they state in a dead pan voice which causes the several of the listening Mandade to snort. With laughter.

They grab his hand and tug him gently towards the exit. “Come on kit, we need to be quick and we need to be nimble if we’re going to live well and long.”

As they move out of Manda’yaim toward Fox’s parked speeder, he over hears several comments on his buir's lack of height and stocky build, as the parting Mando engage in trying to guess their species while wondering at their success at fighting Death watch. Fox isn’t surprised they fight well; Fox and the rest of the Guard Command had cleaned their armour for them while they had healed in the Bacta tank.

It had been an illuminating experience that had led to Fox commissioning one of his gifted vod to come up with a variant on the buckle knife for the Guard. 

Still Plasma drily informing them where one particular shaped weapon had been stored had been traumatizing especially for Stone who had just licked the side in an effort to loosen some of the gunk. 

Their Buir might only be able to just reach Fox’s head standing on tiptoe but their armour told the Guard they firmly believed in making use of any and every advantage they could.


End file.
